Know the difference between sympathy and empathy
For me sympathy is an emotional response characterized by a feeling of compassion, pity, help or sorrow for the suffering, hardships, or difficulties that someone else is experiencing. In more simple terms, it is recognizing and acknowledging another person’s pain or challenges and expressing understanding and support. Sympathy does not mean directly feeling the same emotions as the person in pain. Instead, it is offering care and comfort, often from a place of genuine concern and kindness.
Conversely, empathy is a deeper and more intricate emotional reaction rooted in the capacity to vicariously experience the emotions, thoughts, and viewpoints of someone who is undergoing hardship. It surpasses mere sympathy because it requires fully immersing oneself in the emotional realm of another person, genuinely understanding their experiences, and establishing a profound connection with their emotions and challenges.
As an Indian, I consider myself blessed to have been raised in empathic environments. I want to clarify that I don’t mean to imply that other countries lack empathic citizens; it’s just that I have observed empathy closely in India. I come from a small hilly state in India, or to put in figuratively, I was born and brought up in the foothills of the Himalayas. Life here is serene and peaceful. The people I’ve encountered here have been highly empathic; they would cry in your pain as if it were their own and share in your joys as if they belonged to them. The sharing and caring environment has blessed me with many positive qualities, and I’ve learned to understand and respect people’s emotions and perspectives.
However, I realized that I was not truly empathic. I couldn’t feel the pain of others as if it were my own, although I did understand their pain and did everything under my control to help alleviate it. I couldn’t cry with someone in their pain, although feigning laughter was never my way. As I’ve grown, I’ve desired to be more empathic with the emotions of others. So, I started listening to trauma and sad stories as if they would bring tears to my eyes. Don’t laugh, but I thought this was a way to become more extroverted and a more socially connected human being.
How I learnt to be empathic?
During this journey, I realized that this approach was in vain. It seemed more artificial than being unsocial. It was only then that I understood that shedding tears in response to others’ emotions is not the sole path to empathy. I can be empathic without having tears in my eyes. I can feel the pain without my eyes getting wet. True empathy is when you hear someone’s suffering, feel it deeply within, and contemplate the possible mental turmoil that they might experience due to that trauma. Then, you act accordingly. This is what empathy is all about.
We are all born with a natural capacity for sympathy. Some of us are fortunate to possess both empathy and sympathy. However, at times, we may not have had the opportunity to fully understand these virtues. There’s no need to worry; these are emotional responses that develop after encountering specific situations and emotions. If you don’t feel sympathy or empathy today, there’s a chance you may experience both in the future. Simple acts of compassion can nurture these two essential facets of humanity within all of us.
How to be better in both?
Compassion indeed plays a pivotal role in nurturing and strengthening our capacity for both empathy and sympathy. It’s like a gentle guiding force that encourages us to step into another person’s shoes, to feel their pain, and to respond with kindness and understanding. Cultivating compassion involves being open to the experiences of others, actively listening, and offering support when needed. It’s a practice that can not only enhance our own emotional intelligence but also contribute positively to the well-being of those around us. Ultimately, it’s a testament to the boundless potential for growth and development that resides within each of us.